タグ: Words from Notable Figures

日本語で読む | English

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“And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!”

Anne Frank, “Give.” The wording and its attribution are documented in Snopes’ examination of the quotation.

We may want to help someone and still feel that we do not have enough to offer.

Not enough time. Not much money to spare. No special knowledge.

While we wait to have something more impressive, the day passes.

Anne Frank’s words bring the idea of giving closer to ordinary life. What follows is my own reflection.

Help does not have to solve everything

We may not be able to resolve someone’s entire problem, but there may still be something we can do.

Listen without interrupting. Thank someone for a specific thing they did. Ask how they are doing without assuming that we already know.

A small gesture can give someone a little room to breathe. Kindness does not always require a grand act.

Let the other person help define kindness

What we intend as helpful may not be what someone needs.

They may want to be heard rather than advised. They may need quiet rather than repeated questions.

Instead of rushing to do something for them, we can ask, “What would be helpful right now?”

Offering help and giving someone space can both be ways of respecting them.

Kindness does not require exhausting yourself

We do not have to accept every request.

We can explain that today is difficult, offer what we can manage, or suggest another person or approach.

This article is not an invitation to give until nothing remains for yourself.

What could you offer someone today?

“Thank you—that helped.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
“I cannot do all of it, but I can help with this part.”

Kindness need not be a gift reserved for special occasions. There may be a place for it in an ordinary day.

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“Those full of motivation should leave.”

Tamori. Source: a Diamond Online article (Japanese) introducing the book Datsuryoku Meigen. English translations of quoted words are prepared for this article, not official translations.

“I need to try harder.”

When we think this, we usually have a particular goal in mind.

We want results.
We want recognition.
We want to meet expectations.

So we keep preparing, remain on edge, and try to anticipate problems before we make mistakes.

Yet sometimes, the harder we try, the less we hear the voices around us.

At such moments, Tamori’s words, “Those full of motivation should leave,” can come as a surprise.

Why tell motivated people to leave?

The Diamond Online article connects this remark with Tamori’s observation that motivated people “look only at the center.” In comedy, interesting things begin at the edges, but these people overlook them.

What follows is my own interpretation.

I feel these words are not rejecting people who make an effort, but questioning how narrow our vision can become when we tense up too much.

The moment we decide, “It has to be done this way,” everything else disappears from view.

We try to speak as planned and miss the other person’s expression.
We try to explain our ideas and stop listening before the other person finishes.
We try to be helpful and take on things nobody asked us to do.

None of this comes from bad intentions.

On the contrary, we want to make things better.

Even so, our eagerness can sometimes pull us away from the person or situation right in front of us.

Relaxing is not the same as being careless

When we hear “relax,” it may sound like cutting corners.

But I want to distinguish between the two.

Cutting corners means leaving out what needs to be done.

Relaxing means not making ourselves more rigid than necessary.

Prepare.
Keep promises.
Check what you do not understand.

Then ease, just a little, the feeling that you absolutely must get everything right.

This leaves room to hear something unexpected, or to admit a mistake and try again.

You can listen carefully without trying to look impressive.

You can say, “I didn’t know that,” even when you cannot give a perfect answer.

That kind of room is something I want to value when connecting with others.

Look at what is in front of you, not just your own effort

When something goes wrong, I can imagine myself thinking only about increasing my effort.

Prepare more.
Explain more.
Do more myself.

But before that, there are things worth reconsidering.

How is the other person responding right now?
What is actually needed?
Am I moving the conversation forward on my own?

Instead of increasing our effort, broaden the area we are looking at.

What makes these words interesting, I think, is how they invite us to question “motivation,” something that usually sounds entirely positive.

If you feel a little tense in your interactions today, do not rush to an answer. Listen to one more thing the other person has to say.

Before trying to prove something, look at what is happening in front of you.

Leave room for someone else in the space that was filled with your own effort.

Perhaps there are things we can receive precisely because we have relaxed.